Fangay's Confession, Rebel's Reflections

It’s been almost seven months since I became a Rebel; since I became a fan girl; since many things have changed; since I transformed to someone I never realized I’d be. Today I took time to reflect on how the experience has been and realized many things which I thought I could summarize in a few words. Being a rebel has proven how life can be full of delightful surprises; that life can be random and there is no template to being happy or dealing with a difficult situation. It had given me a breath of fresh air and led me to discover the other side of me that I never knew existed but I loved.
 

It started when my Mama asked me about The Rich Man’s Daughter over family lunch. She said it’s a good show and I should see it. That promotion was brought up in between talks about heartbreaks and moving on. It registered but I wasn’t so excited but checked it as soon as I got home.

The days were dark when I started watching TRMD. Post-arguments, I’d settle in one corner, watch the show that opened the door to my escape from the excruciating daily struggle to hold on which in no time had to go. Before I could wallow in depression and count the tears I shed, I found myself pre- occupied with enjoying TRMD and RaStro. It represented the agony I was experiencing and somehow turned my eyes to looking at the beauty of love rather than focus on the pain which was part of loving but I didn’t have to be lethal as how I’d usually handle it. It stole the chance for me to embrace sadness.

I remember my family and friends who were so worried about how I was dealing with that huge change and were so surprised with how I’d be all smiling. Some of them either doubted my sincerity in the relationship, the truth in the rumors or thought I was just pretending to be happy.

I couldn’t blame them. I didn’t expect that quick recovery as well and I could not attribute it to anything else but the fandom. The show of course started it all and had been a huge factor in the moving on journey but it eventually became more about the fandom – the kind of deep and shallow conversations; the fun, the talent, the solidarity that I witnessed and proud to be part of.

I was able to brush aside negative text messages and posts because I was busy participating in the twitter party that my Daddy initially thought was a real party that I do every night to overcome sadness. He called, was worried of me going out every night since my Mama told him I was in a party regularly.

I had to explain it was just a twitter party of the fandom J 

I never felt being alone even if somebody left and something was gone.

I never realized I’d be so drawn to celebrities and to a show or that I’d spend so much time and enjoy being in a fandom. It’s something that never occurred to me; a strange thing that I was glad unfolded.

Being a Rebel was fresh. I used to be skeptical about meeting people online, more, that these virtual encounters could lead to meaningful friendships but the fandom proved me wrong.

I’ve met Rebels, comfortably talked to them online even if I haven’t seen them yet considering that their DPs didn’t show their faces. It was natural and when we met in person, the bond just got deeper. It may sound weird to others but in the fandom, there is connection in the way we rejoice and mourn over the same thing; how we’d argue but also unite when necessary. It’s real. We had the same dreams and that dream transcend differences in age, social status, political views, etc.

Thank you Team Bahay for the logo

 

If we were a nation, we’d probably one of the most developed ones because we look at the same direction, work towards the same goal and are willing to disregard conflict, offer and share our gifts and talents; laugh when necessary and just do anything we can for the sake of the goal, RaStro and the fandom.

I can go on and on talking about this wonderful experience of being a fangirl but to cap this off, I’d say, I like myself better now and a bug part of it is being in the fandom.

Thank you RaStro, thank you Rebels! J